Every bride has specific details about her wedding that she wants to be "perfect." I was no different. Unlike most brides who want the picture perfect dress, or color coordinated napkins to centerpieces, or matching hairstyles on their bridesmaids, the detail that I was picky on was my music. How could it not be? As a music therapist, music is such an important part of my life, it just seemed natural to be such an important part of our wedding.

My dress was the first dress I tried on. Our venue for the wedding and reception was the first place I called. I found my baker, florist, and photographer in the first month of planning. My music was a different story. A few months away from the wedding, I was still pouring through I-Tunes, Youtube, and piano books trying to find the music that matched what I wanted.

As a music therapist, I understand the power and sentiment that music possesses. I didn't want to pick music that sounded pretty but had other purposes associated with it. For example, I kept seeing "Amazing Grace" listed as a wedding selection. I don't know about you, but when I hear that song I think of funerals. I didn't want our wedding to be compared to a funeral! I also didn't want a song that you could hear at any wedding. I love Pachelbel's Cannon in D, but as a repeat offender in the bridesmaid category, I had already walked down the aisle to that piece in THREE weddings! And don't even get me started on "Here comes the bride," as I could just hear kids in my head singing "all fat and wide!"

When I heard the piece, I could imagine myself gliding down the aisle to my groom. OK! One song down, many more to go.

I found the bridesmaid processional the same way. The song I selected for my groom to walk into was by the same composer as the piece I walked into. The songs I selected for the mothers and grandparents were theme pieces from two of my favorite romantic movies (I am a HUGE movie buff, so this was totally fitting). The song I selected for special music was an arrangement (again by Jim Brickman) of one of my favorite Bible scriptures that I had originally planned to have read at the wedding. I thought it so much more appropriate to have as music, and the singer was my step-mom and the accompanist my dad. I had my cousin play a song that my groom and I both fell in love with the first time we heard it. It was a song written by a jazz singer for a wedding, and it sounded similar in style to our favorite artist who is also a jazz singer.

I went through the same process selecting music for our reception. I had never even thought about how many songs are "special songs" at a wedding reception until my DJ gave me a list to fill out. There was, of course, our first dance, the father-daughter dance, the mother-son dance, the wedding party dance, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, the teddy bear toss, the cake cutting, the anniversary dance, the dollar dance, and the good-bye dance. Is your head swimming yet? Mine sure was!

Our first dance was easy, like all couples, we have "a song." I found the other special dances more challenging. Again, the whole meaning-behind-the-song was very important to me. I cannot tell you how many "wedding resources" listed the song "I Will Always Love You" as an option for a wedding; apparently, they didn't get the memo that the song is actually about a break-up...not exactly appropriate for a wedding. I found that asking other people involved in the wedding for suggestions was helpful. My dad had a perfect song for the father-daughter dance that I had never heard. The Kingston Trio song "Turn Around" is all about a parent watching their child grow up. It was great! And not played at everyone else's wedding.

Here are my recommendations to anyone choosing music for their wedding:

• First, listen to the song and see if you like the sound of it.
• Second, think about the meaning of that song and make sure it's what you want for your special occasion.
• Third, ask for suggestions when you're stuck, even if you don't go with the suggestions, they might give you a springboard for other ideas.
• Fourth, take a deep breath and remember, in the end, you're marrying the one you love, and only you will remember the music a month later!

Here are some links on YouTube to get you started in your search:

Grandparent's Processional Craig Armstrong's Glasgow Love Them from Love Actually

Mother's Processional Mark Knopfler's Once Upon A Time...Storybook Love from Princess Bride

Men's Processional Jim Brickman's Your Love

Bridesmaid's Processional Brian Crain's Butterfly Waltz

Bride's Processional Jim Brickman's Angel Eyes

Special Music Jim Brickmans' Love Never Fails