Recently, I lost a hospice patient with whom I had a music therapeutic relationship for the last few months. She died at home, surrounded by her family, after 90+ years of life, with more than 70 of them involved as a music teacher/director/church musician.

She said she retired a few years ago but that really wasn’t accurate for she was my teacher from 2009-2010, that is, from our first music therapy session until the final one two days before her death.

When I first met this remarkable woman several months ago, I was struck by how small and frail “Olivia” (not her real name) was as she sat in her chair. But her family told me she was waiting for me, and was she ever. First, we moved her close to the piano where one of her favorite hymn books was open waiting for me. After being asked to play, “Sweet Beulah Land”, a hymn unfamiliar to me, Olivia said, “That was nice and I don’t want to insult you, but it goes much slower than that.”

And with her hand and her raspy voice my first “lesson” of many began, helping me learn the “swing”, the syncopation, the tempo, the “soul” of that and many other pieces of music. And after that she announced, “Now let me hear you play the guitar”.

I want to be like her when I am in my last days/months...letting the gift of music enrich my life and sharing that gift with others until the very end, where together, with other musicians, pain is washed away for a time, memories come flooding back, and harmonies and familiar arrangements come again to life. And like Olivia, on one of my “good” days, I want to be rolled up to the keyboard to play a favorite song and raise my hands afterward with joy and say, “Praise, God! I can still do it!!” Yes, you did!

Thank you, lovely lady!! Thank you for helping me be a better music therapist and a richer person.